When you think of the words “minister’s wife”, what comes to mind? I’ve found that the fact that I have a stereotype in mind is probably the main problem for my poor ministers’ wives! The truth is that this difficult position is held by women of every type and description. They aren’t just the role that they fill. They’re real live women created by God as uniquely as each and every snowflake.
I’ve had the privilege to be friends with several pastors’ wives, and I hold a special place in my heart for these godly women. I was thrilled that Facts and Trends included not only a list of ways to reach out to pastors but also a list of suggestions for their wives. I’m getting excited just thinking about which one I’d like to do for Brigitte! I hope you’ll join me in blessing all our pastors’ wives.
Ministering to the Minister’s Wife:
- Support her ministry passion. Do not assume your minister's wife WANTS to be a leader or member of your leadership team. Find out what her passion is for ministry and support her in it.
- Ask how you can pray for her and her family. For a large staff, each month pray for a different minister and spouse. Find out specific requests and send a note of encouragement during that month.
- Remember special dates. Send birthday and anniversary cards to your ministers and their family members.
- Let her be known as an individual. Ask your minister's wife if she would be willing to share her story with your women at an event or small group. Let her know you want to get to know her personally, and you want the women in your church to know her, too.
- During staff appreciation times, do something special for the wives. Provide them with a "pamper time" that could include manicures, pedicures, massages or facials.
- Do not complain to her about her husband! If you have an issue to discuss, go directly to the minister you need to talk to.
- Give her a night off. If she has young children, offer to take the kids so that she and her husband can have a night alone. Or, offer to keep them overnight so they can go out of town for a night or two.
- Let her serve. If she loves to teach, ask if she would lead your next Bible study for a short period of time. If she's not a teacher, ask her to be a part of the study as a member.
- Buy her a great book. Give her a copy of In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Ministers' Wives. This is a ministers' wives Bible study written by real life ministers' wives Jennifer Landrith and Rachel Lovingood. If you have more than one staff wife, give each one a copy so they can do the study together.
- Cut her some slack. Remember, she is just like you . . . a busy woman who has a heart for God and is seeking how to grow and serve Him. She struggles with some of the same issues you do, but hers may be much more visible!
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